We want to give our children the best. We would love to give our children all the things we never got to have. But sometimes parents go too far with the way they show their affection. And this doesn’t bring the best out of our kids. Before things get out of hand, pay attention to the points listed below.
1. Making them feel like kings.
It is important to make your kids feel special, but losing your authority to them will only have negative consequences. a$$erting your authority means establishing borders, boundaries and limitations as you raise them. Although it is vital to entrust them with certain responsibilities, it is your duty as the parent to guide them through it and make a success of whatever they are given.
2. Entrusting them with too much money.
Money is a tool; it is never an ornament. The earlier you make them understand this, the better off your kids will be. Although we live in a time of abundance and so many easy options and access, it is your job to manage resources, however abundant. Entrusting them with a million dollars or buying expensive jewelry for them in their early years will be too much for them to handle, and the end result will be a child who is not thankful for anything.
3. Stopping them from working.
Work is essential in life. Every responsible adult has to work to earn a living. Making them understand this is beneficial to their success as adults. Understandably you may want to protect them from anything that is laborious but teaching them the vital lesson of work will be more protective than destructive. Set expectations for them as they try to go to college. Let them appreciate earning something of value and feeling proud of this.
4. Encouraging them not to give back.
One of the most essential lessons my parents taught me was why I should give back. That is the flow of life. You take and you give. Do not hold your children back from wanting to reach out and volunteer whether in deeds or in charity.
4. Not requiring them to be grateful.
You may feel your child deserves everything he/she receives and owes no one a thing. But this does not stir an appreciative spirit in them. Words like “thank you” have a way of making them understand the importance of everything they are given.
5. Acting like a spoiled child before them.
We as parents are supposed to lead by example. Our children should see that responsibility in us, that we are firm and tact. We shouldn’t be whining and complaining about everything in front of them.
6. Failing to establish boundaries.
By nature kids want to be pampered and spoiled. It is not your duty as parents to make this happen. Rather, you are meant to make sure they become well-behaved and likable. To do this, limitations and restrictions are meant to be established; if not, the child becomes disrespectful and rude.
7. Letting them have their way all the time.
It is all about picking what you should be giving to them and what you shouldn’t. There is a difference with wanting a new gadget or having candy. It is left for you to choose those things they should have their way with and those things they shouldn’t.
8. Offering them gifts for the wrong reasons.
If your child is bored with the old toy you bought for him/her and you have to offer a new one as a way to stop them from whining, you are offering them gifts for the wrong reasons. Gifts should be offered to show they are deserving of it and they have shown they are responsible enough to handle and manage them.
9. Discouraging relationships that will build them up.
It is not about being with other spoiled kids. Sometimes it serves you wonderful benefits to take them to gatherings of older people who will share insightful knowledge with them. Let them see the benefits in being thankful. Invite people who are participating in volunteer work to your homes. Stifling the child in unhealthy relationships spoils the child.
10. Withholding your child from being accountable.
Your child should be accountable for his/her actions. Yes your child will make mistakes, but not holding them accountable for these mistakes doesn’t make them see the importance of learning from mistakes.