We all look forward to finding the right guy, getting married and starting a family, but a lot of women are finding it so difficult to achieve the first part – finding a good man.
A lonely woman
Some people are just unlucky in love, but others simply do not know that they are their own worst enemies when it comes to finding their match. Here are a few things that are causing you to remain single longer than you planned.
1. Your Attitude: You know those kind of women who are so filled with resentment for guys and you hear them say things like: “no man is worth it”, “all men are dogs”, “men are nothing but bad news,” and so on. Well, if you are one of these, then it is very likely that this is what is preventing you from finding a man to call your own.
No man will choose to be married to someone who is filled with such bitterness about life and love. Men can sense these things, and this kind of attitude would be hard to conceal. It will show itself in the way you speak and the things you do.
What you can do: If you are guilty of this terrible attitude, then it is time you find and sort out the root cause of your thinking. Have you been hurt before and you have not forgiven the person who hurt you?
Are you surrounded by bad examples of love? Figure out what is causing you to think this way and choose to surround yourself with people who can lay good examples of what love and relationship should be. Let go of your past to embrace a better future.
2. Your Standards: Yes, it is perfectly alright to set some standards for yourself, but you will get into trouble if your standards are unrealistic. Imagine a woman not wanting to get married until she finds a guy who is in his 30’s, tall, dark, handsome, adoring, has bought/built a home, earns more than she can spend, has expensive cars in spades etc.
Well, obviously, there will be issues. You should have a few things you look out for in a man you want to marry, but you should make sure to focus on the important things.
What you can do: As a woman, you should avoid being boxed in by your list of conditions that you end up missing out on a great guy. Every once in a while, deviate from your strict rules and give someone a chance. You never know, true love often come in unexpected packages. Remember, there is always room to grow in a relationship and just because he does not have the material things you need now, does not mean he never would.
3. Wrong Idea About Feminism: We are at an age where more women are choosing to be independent and believing in their own strength and worth. This is very good, but this does not mean you should make guys the enemies. Some women have the wrong ideas about feminism and this will lead them to saying things like; “I will never cook for a man”. “I am not a maid” etc. It will be difficult for you to find a man if you think this way.
What you can do: You should know that feminism is all about choice; having freedom to choose to do or not to do something. If you choose not to cook for your man simply because other feminists say so, then this is defeating the purpose. Taking care of your man does not make you weak or a slave, it just means you love him enough to do special things he likes.
4. You Listen To Friends: When you base all your relationship decisions on what your friends say (especially your single friends) then you will find it difficult to find a man. No one ever truly knows someone else and you might not always know if someone has ulterior motives when giving you advice.
What you can do: If you want to get married someday soon, then surround yourself with married people. Watch how they interact and seek advice from other married women who are making their union work. This will give you quick and useful insight to what married life could be like.
5. You Are Way Too Social: Having a social life is fine and it might even help you meet a few people that you can build a relationship with. But if you are spending every nights and weekends clubbing/partying/getting drunk, then you will find it difficult to find a man that will take yo seriously. A man would not look at a drunk woman partying at a club and think “this is the future mother of my children.”
What you can do: If this is you, then try to cut back on the social outing and focus more on improving yourself physically, spiritually and mentally. Make good use of your free time to work on yourself so when the right man comes along, you know it and you are ready.